and Allah said "And proclaim the pilgramage among men; they will come to thee on foot and on every kind of camel. Lean on account of Journeys through deep and distant mountain highways" Surah 22 ~ Al Hajj Part 27

Fauzia: Miami , Florida

I was born and raised in Karachi . As a bright eyed teenager, in my first job as a shop assistant I succumbed to the charms of my boss and regrettably not only did I sleep with him but also fell in love. He was married and he kept me as his mistress for three years in which time he also had me aborted and now I am unable to have children, I strongly believe that is my punishment for sinning. Needless to say, none of his promises amounted to anything. I had a nervous breakdown and on recovery, my parents married me to a guy from the states. It was a very quick affair as my new husband only had a week due to his job. He went back without actually consummating our marriage and made arrangements for me join him there. This process took six months and for first time I left my country and travelled across the globe to be with my husband.

He was very kind and I was very nervous. It took a while before we got it together. A couple of years down the road, my husband started demanding, I have a child. After a while since I was not conceiving we got the doctors involved and tests done on me indicated the post abortion complications. My husband went crazy and accused me of everything under the sun, shortly there after he filed for a divorce. Whilst I can understand his anger, I can't understand that since my husband had a string of women which he often bragged about why did my one indiscretion bother him so much?

We separated and I started to work towards building my life. Years later I married a white American guy, who is kind, generous and extremely loving. I reverted to Christianity and for the first time found peace. However, I always felt there was something missing in my life and I began looking at Islam again in light of an argument right after 9/11. My husband and I have discussed it and found out that whilst the religion is pure most men participating in it are hypocritical and using their cultural values infer it as Islamic. When I say this I am particularly pointing my finger at Asian Muslim men.

On a final note both my husband and I are contemplating reverting to Islam and would like to thank you for we have found this website very informative especially where my husband is concerned.


Webmaster Remarks:

Asalaamwalaikum wa rehmatullah wa barakatu Sister Fauzia;

Jazakallah for your kind words. As is the case with almost all heart rendering emails that we receive, we can only give you our heartfelt sympathy and dua's. However, as not all your fingers on your hand are alike, in the same way no two people are alike. As we have said on the index page of Matters of the heart. Was it the inherent nastiness of the people who played a part in your life or was it Islam? We think you have found the answer for yourself, in the mere fact you are considering coming back to Islam. May Allah guide you on the right path ameen.